Badges Of Honor
by Seraph-Anaesthesia
Summary: AU VH Wings? Why do you have wings the tattoos I mean on your back, Van? Is there something you plan on flying away from? Maybe. HIATUS.
1. Girl Anachronism The Dresden Dolls

Badges Of Honor

Chapter One: Girl Anachronism- Dresden Dolls

By: Seraph-Anaesthesia

"Oh my God. I can't _believe_ I just did that. He staring at me! Oh crap..." She turned to her best friend Millerna with a very, very panicked expression. Her green eyes were shining with emerald green, the epitome of innocence. **Yeah, right.**

"Well, it's YOUR fault that you flicked that rubber band at his head. I'd be mad too, y'know." Millerna grinned with a wicked vixen look. She ran a hand through her blonde curls and patted Hitomi lightly on the shoulder. "Don't worry, he won't even speak to you." 'Hopefully,' Millerna thought with a bitter sweet taste it her mouth. 'He won't even look at you. You've had one too many heartaches.' Looking at Hitomi again, she stood up as the bell rang.

Hitomi was just rushing back and forth, looking at Van and then Millerna with very scared and peeved expressions. What was she supposed to do? It's not like she was aiming for him, but more towards the teacher, Mr. Clark. Oh well. If she died, she'd give all of her good clothes to Celena, and all of her shiny stones to Millerna. Even her pink one that looked like a dragon's eye. Yup, if only she died.

"You know, Miss Kanzaki," A voice startled her from behind as she whipped around to face the obvious male that was taunting her. He said her name with a clear accent of some foreign place that could never be described. "You would be a lot smarter if you paid attention to the video that Mr. Clark was showing instead of practicing your already horrible aim." Hitomi could just feel the mocking laughter that he was desperately trying to hold in. She got mad.

"Shut up, Fanel. You're just as stupid, you were the one scribbling worms or something all over the back of your binder. Don't blame me just because you have a short attention span." Hitomi sniffed with "dignity" as she later on proclaimed it and grabbed her books. Walking out the door with her head held high into the air with pride, Van grinned.

"They weren't worms, they were wings." He was smiling wide, and whispering to her retreating back with an easy façade that came natural to the young boy. He was glad to be back from Fanelia, this school was going to be a helluva lot more fun and...interesting. Van Fanel took one last look at Hitomi as she walked out, his eyes lit up with an unnamed emotion.

Hitomi ran in to the band room about...half an hour or so late. You could tell that the guys and girls in the musical band weren't exactly please with her, but they smiled when she apologized. They had gotten used to it by then, because after Hitomi's dad went away, she was always late or worried about something. Or always mischievous. With her dad gone, Hitomi decided to take off too and steal away to college. She was still in good contact with her mother though. That was the least she could do.

Hitomi's hair had grown a little past her ears, giving her a tomboy look as they now clung to the sides of her face from the long run in the rain to the studio. Her eyes were aglow with another slight worry, her voice called out a strained, "Sorry!" to Millerna, Allen, and Celena. They just grinned while Dryden played a little skit on the drums.

"S'all right, 'Tomi, we all know you're just tooooo busy to come practice the songs that you wrote and **pay **people to sponsor us for. Yup, we're _just_ fine with it." Millerna once again gave her witch grin, blue eyes twinkling with a mischief only a perfect girl could have. Allen just smiled while Celena pretended to file her nails with an imaginary emery board and ignore the world behind her smirk.

"Shall we get started then?" Hitomi grinned even wider than Millerna as she got up onto the huge oak stage to the microphone. Millerna took her place as the back-up vocals and bass guitar as Celena got in position to play the keyboard that was situated in from of her. Allen was just about ready to crank up the volume on his electric guitar, and Hitomi as proud lead singer while Dryden played the drums. Closing her eyes, she made a small motion with her hands to let the band know what they were playing and when to start.

That was the odd thing about Hitomi though, she could not hear the song, just look at the lyrics and watch the band play it. She would have many doubts that she could actually try and sing it, but when it came out it sounded perfect. Hitomi's voice had matured over the years in high school and so many days practicing with her mother's old piano. She had started her own band called "Paranoia." Nobody really knew about the band though, except a select few.

Hitomi's mind kept wandering off to Van Fanel, whom she had known since the second grade when he told her that her sweater was three sizes too big for her. She had stomped on his foot so hard that he went home screaming bloody murder at her. For a second grader, he sure had an advanced vocabulary. But then again, he was the most secretive little boy she knew. It had taken the incident from today for Hitomi to realize that he wasn't just a little boy anymore. He had matured quite nicely, and Hitomi was wistful for a second.

Then **he **walked into the studio, an instrument case swung over his shoulder and his raven hair falling carelessly right into his face. She almost wanted to call off the whole rehearsal, but Hitomi just looked at him with a brave and confident smile. He just stared in awe as she put one hand on her hip and grabbed the microphone from the stand, her clear voice ringing out through the entire room as the band began too. Hitomi stared at him straight on, emerald meeting maroon in a clash of a wondrous song that it seemed _she_ was directing towards _him._

"You can tell  
From the scars on my arms  
And cracks in my hips  
And the dents in my car  
And the blisters on my lips  
That I'm not the care fullest of girls  
  
You can tell  
From the glass on the floor  
And the strings that are breaking  
And I keep on breaking more  
And it looks like I am shaking  
But it's just the temperature  
And then again  
If it were any colder I could disengage  
If I were any older I would act my age  
But I don't think that you'd believe me  
It's not the way I'm meant to be  
It's just the way the operation made me  
  
And you can tell  
From the state of my room  
That they let me out too soon  
And the pills that I ate  
Came a couple years too late  
And I've got some issues to work through

There I go again  
Pretending to be you  
Make-believing  
That I have a soul beneath the surface  
Trying to convince you  
It was accidentally on purpose  
  
I am not so serious  
This passion is a plagiarism  
I might join your century  
But only on a rare occasion  
I was taken out  
Before the labor pains set in and now  
Behold the world's worst accident  
I am the girl anachronism  
  
And you can tell  
By the red in my eyes  
And the bruises on my thighs  
And the knots in my hair  
And the bathtub full of flies  
That I'm not right now at all  
There I go again  
Pretending that I'll fall  
Don't call the doctors  
Cause they've seen it all before  
They'll say just let her crash and burn she'll learn  
The attention just encourages her  
  
And you can tell  
From the full-body cast  
That YOUR sorry that YOU asked  
Though you did everything you could  
(Like any decent person would)  
But i might be catching so don't touch  
You'll start believing you're immune to gravity and stuff  
Don't get me wet  
Because the bandages will all come off  
  
And you can tell  
From the smoke at the stake  
That the current state is critical  
Well it is the little things, for instance:  
In the time it takes to break it she can make up ten excuses:  
Please excuse her for the day, its just the way the medication makes her...  
  
I don't necessarily believe there is a cure for this  
So i might join your century but only as a doubtful guest  
I was too precarious removed as a caesarean  
Behold the worlds worst accident  
I AM THE GIRL ANACHRONISM!"

Ending her song with a loud ring of her voice and a grin, Hitomi hopped off of the stage with more pride than she had held herself with in her entire life. Van was staring as she came near him, but carefully rearranged his face to smile. His maroon eyes were dancing with secrets and tales of untold mischief. "So, what did you think?" Hitomi allowed a small smirk to play on her lips as she poked him in the chest.

"Verrryyy nice, Ms. Kanzaki." Van got up in her face and clapped his hands as if he was instructing a retarded kid. "The talent competition is coming up at the community "center," want to sign up?" He grinned and slapped a flyer into her hands as he walked into the back room to put up his violin.

"If I show up...will you be there to watch?"

Hitomi's voice rang out to him, though it was just a whisper. He smiled despite the violin cases that had almost fallen on top of his head.

What do you think? Review and I'll continue. Pleasie? 3 Don't worry, all of the other "evil" plots and characters will be in their original spiffyness, just not yet! Sorry if everyone was little OOC...but this IS an AU fic, mind the summary. . Please PLEASE review. I'll give a cookie!


	2. The Beautiful People Marilyn Manson

Badges Of Honor

Chapter Two: The Beautiful People- Marilyn Manson

By: Seraph-Anaesthesia

"Hitomi..." Van nodded at her with a questioning look in his eyes as they got off the bus, strangely side by side. Hitomi was smiling lightly, for she had completed all of the lousy crap they entitle "Homework."

"Yes, Van?" She tilted her head to the side as they walked up the side walk.

"How long have we lived next to each?"

Hitomi sweat dropped and about fell over from the immense curiosity of the question. Van was looking her with an innocent expression, wide eyes and a small smile. His maroon hues were staring her down so badly that Hitomi blushed. She stuttered slightly, and he just blinked and let out a small, "Hmph." as she answered him.

"Oh...about _eleven years _I think...No offence, Van, but are you just realizing that now?" Hitomi was blinking furiously as he let out a small bark of laughter. His calm face had suddenly turned dark, into a cold and almost uncaring one. His expression was scaring Hitomi slightly, but she decided to listen to him. For once, Hitomi Kanzaki was determined to be a good friend.

"No, but... It's been six years since my mother died, and I was wondering... Do _you _still remember her? You were always with her. I've been think a lot lately, and, it seems to me that you were more of her child than I was. I was a horrible son, always so stupid and angry. I never got _why _she smiled at me. It was just another thing that mothers do..."

Hitomi's expression of peevishness was slowly turned into one of sympathy as her eyes filled with the glistening coat of pent-up tears. Of course she remember Van's mother. She was a wonderful woman, she shouldn't have died. Growing slightly fierce, Hitomi was angered at the diseases that had slowly consumed Mrs Fanel. Oh no, she would never forget.

"Van... You can't just say things like that in front of me and expect me to be able to tell you how lousy you are. I could never do that. You're mother was so special, and she loved you very much. You **can NOT **forget things like that. You'll simply fly away..."

He smiled at her with such a sad face that Hitomi could only desperately hope that she had not saddened him even more. She walked up her own driveway to the white house, knowing that Van was walking up to his brick one at the very same moment, same second. They were both think the same thing.

'I'll never forget.'

And once again, Van was speaking to Hitomi's back, which, by now, he was awfully familiar with. He had so many things that could never be said aloud. That was the problem. It wasn't himself that was keeping him from opening up to Hitomi, it was the secrets.

"Maybe I'll do that... Just simply..._Fly away."_

"WHAT THE HELL?! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME VAN LIVED THERE?!"

Dilandau was screaming his head off at Folken, who was sitting leisurely on the couch with his feet propped up watching sports. He just sipped his coke and turned off the TV with a heaving sigh.

"I wasn't aware of it, fool."

That was all the older man said as he went up the stairs to his room, blaring Marilyn Manson's "The Beautiful People" on full blast with the bass turned up high. He barely heard the young albino's scream as he turned the music up louder.

"We are NOT moving into a neighborhood with VAN FANEL, YOU HEAR ME?!"

Dilandau let out a mighty roar that could have broken glass windows in a church, or busted someone's ear drum. But nooo, Folken would never listen. Dilandau was convinced, as he stared at the mirror on the kitchen wall, muttering a loose,

"Shut up."

To his reflection.

"The beautiful people, the beautiful people..."

"Hmm? Someone new? Moving HERE, of all places? That's odd..." Hitomi was blabbering on casually to Millerna as they walked out of the school doors. They saw Van scowling with the expression of wet cat permanently plastered on his usually emotionless face. Hitomi just blinked and Millerna shook her head. "Wonder what's up with him..."

Millerna punched her lightly on the arm with a huge grin the size of Texas. She winked as she brushed her hair over her shoulder. "Well, you ARE his neighbor. You should talk to him." Poking Hitomi in the side lightly as she giggled, she began walking away as the black Mercedes drove up the school's driveway. Hitomi sighed and walked home.

The emerald-eyed girl nearly fell over with surprise as she noticed the huge moving van that was unloading (mostly black leather) furniture into the house next door. Hitomi shrugged her shoulders and saw Van desperately trying to cut down humongous weeds that were situating themselves quite nicely in his yard.

"Van, what's the moving truck for?" The tapped him on the shoulder as he turned around quickly, almost poking a hole in Hitomi's lime green t-shirt with the sharp clippers. The scowl was still there, and his eyes were starting to wither under the sun and the strain of glaring so much. He looked beaten up and angry.

"It's a MOVING truck. What do YOU think it's for, Hitomi? Just leave me alone, I'm not in the mood for your blathering." Van glared some more at her as she just slapped him. It hurt bad that van had to keep from yelling at her. He was so angry, but not with Hitomi. His attitude ashamed him as he brought a hand up, as if he could feel the stinging crimson sensation that was travelling up his cheek. Van just stared at her as she walked away, once again with her head held high.

"Fine, Fanel. Just BE a stuck-up jerk! I don't need you!" Hitomi's voice was about to crack, and it was filled with the anger of being hurt and the sadness of being smarted off by one of her friends to. Hitomi wiped the tears that were making their way down her cheeks in small streams. Van could hear the door slam as Hitomi ran inside.

She ran face down on to the big white comforter and tried to keep everything she had in her. Why was her life so horrible? Hitomi got a postcard from her stupid father that day, someone was moving in that she didn't even know and probably wouldn't like, and she had Van mad at her. Would you care for me to go on?

Hitomi spent the entire day in her room on Saturday, just lying on the bed sleeping her "horrible life" away. Every once in a while she'd get up and go to the bathroom, or get a glass of water or something. Hitomi's hair was mussed from sleep and she had on a pair on bright pink tank top and flannel pant PJs. It kind of scared her when she heard the door open and two people walked into the room. Hitomi's face was currently lodged under the pillow she was holding onto as she yelled, "Go away!"

"Now why would you want us to do that?" Van's voice wafted to her deprived ears as she sat up slowly, still not turning around. Hitomi's mind was on the whole speaking-like-there's-two-of-you thing.

"Us?"

"Us."

A bark of laughter sounded behind her that definitely didn't sound like Van's usual mischievous rumble of happiness. Hitomi turned around slowly, this time letting the pillow down from holding it over her eyes and blushed furiously as Van and the newcomer gazed down on her with belts of held-in laughter. She once again slowly looked down at her pajamas and then looked up at Van with a strangely calm expression.

"I _reeeallly_ don't like you right now."

"That's okay, 'Tomi! You don't HAFTA like me!" Van put on a VERY fake cheery smile as the albino next to him punched him in the arm. Van looked as if he wanted to strangle the other boy, and was hiding it VERY well, but Hitomi just blinked with childish innocence. Then came the look of Hades.

"Who are you and why the HELL ARE YOU IN MY ROOM, PERVERT!?"

Hitomi threw the overly stuffed pillow at the guy's head, as he just smirked and caught it. His amethyst eyes were twinkling against the pale skin and almost silver hair that was attached to him. "Dilandau Shizuka. Nice to meet you, Miss Kanzaki." That was when her bent down and grabbed her hand, kissing it while still keeping eye contact with her.

Van thought she was going to fall for him just like any other girls that had in their past childhood, but instead...

Hitomi punched him square in between the eyes.

_Boy, was he gonna feel that in the morning..._

A/N: I know that this chapter was a little bit shorter than the first one, I'm sorry! To those of you who actually remember to look for updates, and review, please e-mail me! . I'm creating an update service-thing, so if you want to be notified when I update anything, then let me know! Just email me at or and I'll make sure to get back to you. How'd you like this chappie? REVIEW PLEASE! 3


	3. SOABW Jeremiah Slaughter

Badges Of Honor

By: Seraph-Anaesthesia

Chapter Three: Staring Out A Broken Window- Jeremiah Slaughter

Why did his head hurt so bad? He could of sworn he had been hit by a gynormous truck. Maybe the world was out to get him! After all, that stupid friend of Van's...Oh! NOW he remembered! Man, was he going to get that girl for doing that to him. He sat up in the bed he was in, lazily making his way over to a near-by hanging mirror. He about feel over when he saw his jumbled appearance though.

He had a shining black eye the size of a full grown squash!

Muttering something about evil girls in Nazi uniforms ready to kill him, he opened the door out into the light. Dilandau had to shield his eyes with his hands and arms as he walked out into the living room. It turned out that he was in Van's house now, he remembered the pale green walls and white furnishing. Dilandau saw Van sitting on the couch, sighing as he flipped through the channels. He stopped on some gory horror movie when he saw Dilandau.

"How ya feeling? Better, I assume...," Van took in a sharp intake of breath as he turned around to stare at Dilandau's eye. Van merely winced and got up to get him some ice to hold on the swelling black and blue bruise.

"Where. Is. That. Girl..?! I am going to **murder** her. Or better yet, _burn_ her." Dilandau's eye twitched like whenever he got mad, making Van laugh slightly as he motioned for Dilandau to follow him. The albino could faintly make out the words to the song that seemed to be blaring from the door next to Van's room.

'_This is a debate against matters of the heart_

_You're always teething, seething, tearing me apart_

_It's getting old now, I'm tired of picking up shards of glass_

_I'm getting so familiar with staring out a broken window'_

Van opened the door next to his that had been painted black and green, contrasting to his black and red. The door was covered in Branded By Angels posters along with Jeremiah Slaughter and Brand New posters and pictures. Hanging off of the knob was an evil bunny that said, 'MY room. Get it?' on the front.

Van opened the door anyway, as Dilandau eyed him skeptically, noting the sign as he walked into the room with Van. The walls were painted also a pale tea-green color, but most of the furniture was black. Even the velvet comforter and sheet set was black velvet. There was a huge stereo on one side of the wall, and there were posters everywhere. Dilandau glared hard at the humming figure that was rummaging through the closet, as if trying to see through the wooden door.

Van walked over and turned the stereo off with one hand, flipping on the light switch near the closet, only to have a pale hand reach out and flick it back off. There stood Hitomi, dressed in baggy black jeans and a green T-shirt. She had mini barrettes in her hair, pulling part of it away from her ears. Green earrings, eye shadow, and nail polish completed the look, along with some shiny lip gloss. Hitomi was smiling slightly and poke Dilandau in the eye. He just started complaining to Van about her.

"Van! What is SHE doing HERE? In your HOUSE? In this room?! Who's room is this?!" Dilandau was looking around furiously, his eyes scanning the area for any sign of ownership. Hitomi smiled at him and took a seat next to Van on the un-made bed that was next to them. Dilandau had his arms up in the air with "rage" while Van was smirking. Hitomi was just blinking with an expression that rivalled the word, "Crazy."

'_We fight, then fight some more, fingers torn and getting sore_

_Just stand there for a second, let me look at you for a while_

_Poor child, where did you get that beautiful black eye_

_You cannot take your eyes off that pretty little shiner'_

"This **_HER_** room."

Now, obviously, Hitomi thought the expression on Dilandau's face was quite humorous, because she burst out laughing and had to lean on Van's shoulder to keep from falling over with giggles. Dilandau's eyes were wide open and resembled the size of cherry tomatoes and his mouth hung open loosely in surprise. He took one look at Van and questioned the obvious.

"H...her room? Does...she..." He gulped loud. "Live here?" That question even made Van shake in his shoes with only barely contained laughter. He clapped his hand onto Dilandau's shoulder and pretended to not laugh.

"Of course not." Van grinned at Dilandau as Hitomi just smiled happily as she curled up next to Van, while Dilandau sat in the chair in front of them. He now had on a curious expression and slightly weirded out, but Van and Hitomi just looked at each other and decided that they ought to tell him anyway.

Van spoke first. "Hitomi spends so much time here, and neither of us know why. I spend time at her house too, but not as much as she spends here. I don't have parents, so we're allowed to use the entire house. We're good friends, though we don't show it, and we've been there for each other."

He took a deep breath.

'_Another wasted bottle, I'm living with your spoiled milk_

_These eggs are rotten, we'll all die of starvation_

_You aren't making a very good role model_

_Oh darn, there goes another bottle down the drain'_

"When Hitomi was little, nobody liked her at all. She was the strange new kid, and she always had this weird necklace that she carried around. She was only twelve back then, and I was here alone. I was _smart_ back then, and for Hitomi's 13th birthday, I made her a room of her own. She's been staying over here ever since." Van grinned at Hitomi with light eyes. Hitomi seemed content and just grinned right on back.

"You mean you're not smart NOW?" Now, THAT wasn't the kind of answer they were expecting. Mostly just an odd look or an, "Ok." Dilandau just glanced at them with a kind of longing in his eyes. Was it that...he was lonely? Hitomi couldn't make out the expression too clearly, since his head was turned to the side. Then she popped up, remembering something.

"Oh, I forgot! I'm really sorry about hitting you earlier. I just have this weird thing about perverts... You should have seen me when I first met Van! I sprayed him with pepper spray!" Van face-faulted as Hitomi told one of his secrets, and he blushed lightly. She smiled playfully and punched him in the arm. It was quite easy to see the way Van leaned into her.

'_Pour out all of your alcoholics, I don't want to clean it up_

_There's retching in the bathroom, I think I might throw up_

_Won't you look at me like that, you're just not dangerous_

_Don't even pretend that you don't care about it, 'cause you do'_

Dilandau grinned in spite of himself, laughing along with them. For once, maybe he had found friends. Not the kind of friends that he used to have, like Folken or some of the other creeps he had the displeasure to come in contact with. Suddenly, another thing seemed to pop into Hitomi's mind as she remembered another thing. (Geez, how many things does this girl hafta remember?!)

"Oh! Guess what Van! Allen's coming to visit!"

Sudden death in Carolina. Van face-faulted so hard that he almost fell over, getting a kind of 'kicked puppy' look in his eyes. Her straightened himself out, getting up. He walked out of the room completely, just leaving Dilandau and Hitomi to gape at each other. Hitomi was the first one to get out and run after him, and Dilandau was as confused as hell. He called after Hitomi, "I'm gonna go ahead and go now!" All he heard back was a short, "Okay! Bye!"

Van was on the roof, his knees pulled loosely up to his chest, his arms resting out over his kneecaps. A scowl seemed to be perfectly painted on his handsome features, wind blowing his black hair into his red-brown eyes, and he didn't even bother to brush it out of the way. Hitomi came and sat down next to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. "What's wrong?"

"Everything." Van ran his fingers through his hair, looking at Hitomi. She gasped at the sorrow and despair his eyes were filled with. Hitomi looked down sadly, playing with her pink-red pendant that hung around her slender neck. She let go of him sadly, recoiling into a small bundle. Hitomi's own eyes filled with guilt.

"I'm sorry, Van. I should have told you sooner. I should have broken the news gently..."

"It's all right Hitomi, I just hate Allen's guts."

'_I won't ask you how I'm supposed to beat you, I'm not interested in victory_

_I've seen too many guts exploding, I've got a colourful history_

_It's getting cold now, I'm tired of picking up shards of our shredded family_

_I'm getting so familiar with staring out a broken window'_

"He's just so annoying. With his girly hair. He's always trying to take you away from here. I'm just worried that someday he will."

'_This is for you, darling, this is my future seeing_

_I would never wish you anything but bad luck, I know you know I suck_

_I'll never make a very good role model, and that's okay_

_Because a little is a little too little is too much so much'_

"Van, you know I'd never leave you behind. And...wow...That was...deep."

'_This is a debate against matters of the heart_

_Watch me party because you're sobered up again_

_While your awake, won't you buy me a brand new car_

_I'm getting so familiar with staring out a dirty windshield'_

"Yeah, yeah...I'm a sucker for anything romantic."

'_Everything's never been better, never been better, never been better...'_

A/N: Moo! Man, that chapter was a beast to tame! I gotta get this off my chest now... Go read Darkcherry's _Amicitia_!! I just wrote this thing for that story. I'm reading it right now...and totally spazzing out! Read below! It's my...um...thing...for Amicitia! Read and review, my little darlings!

Kind of sad now, kind of mad now. There's something in the water and it's poisoning us all. We're being torn apart, the loss of innocence goes on forever. We're rotting here, sweet love bathed in complete misery. They're gone, and he just won't stop running. They're gone, and she's hurting so bad. My best friend has never been this sad. I don't wanna give up now, but the bottle is already half-way empty, and there's bruises everywhere. I'm sorry, I just don't trust you, mother. I'm sorry, am I any safer with father? Everything's gone wrong, and I'm running out of make-up. To cover up the scars. God's on vacation, up in Heaven. Our world is being torn apart. It's getting late, a debate simply covered in despair. Every time you touch the wound, or think about it, you wind up getting burned. Wait, it's getting better. But nobody knows, could be the calm after the storm. You're finally getting it together now, what a great life you'll have. Wait, no, my love is speaking. We'll all have a great life together, because best friends are forever. Just 'cause we won't be in school together doesn't mean this is all over. It's just beginning, I think. "Yeah, it' just the beginning."


	4. Crummy MustRead Author's Note! Sorry!

Author's Note! VERY IMPORTANT, MUST READ! …Please? (Begs)

Okie dokie! Now I know that all of you sane people just hate author's notes, but try and survive with me, okay? Now lately. I've been getting some odd questions, and I've been trying to hide the answers. I got mad at myself for hiding the story line from the reviewers, so I'm going to give you guys a break!!

Question #1- Submitted By: Jossi-31

? Does Hitomi have parents?? ?

Real answer: Yes, she does, but her mother sent Hitomi off to live on her own. Her mother is an alcoholic (which comes into the story later on…) and her father died when she was 3. I may have sad otherwise in some far off world, but that's how it is. Hitomi moved out at the age of 15, and is now "living" on her own, now older with more experience and maturity. Sorry if I didn't mention that earlier on in the story!

Question #2- Submitted By: LadyLoud and Jossi-31

? Where's Folken?? ?

Real Answer: He's out there! He's currently living with Dilandau in the same neighborhood, but is much older than Van and Dilly by many years. Folken does have a job, and goes to work and things like that. Dilandau and him live in a house just a few blocks from Hitomi and Van. He will show up in about…Chapter 4 or 5. That's when the real angst starts! Yum!

Question #3- Submitted By: Jossi-31

? What's the deal with Dilly?? ?

Real Answer: Now this is where the really confusing part comes up, and deals with ½ of the plot. I can't give much away, but I'll tell you this: When Van was younger, he was in a car accident, and lost his entire memory of Dilandau. Van thinks that he just met Dilandau, but Dilly knows otherwise! Sorry for not giving much away!

Question #4- Submitted By: LadyLoud

? In the beginning it seemed like Van hardly knew her and now they live together?? ?

Real Answer: THEY DO NOT LIVE TOGETHER!! That would be too wrong for this little PG-13 fic. Hitomi suffered a lot of pain when she was little, her mother being a drunk and her father dying. Hitomi only had Van for support, so she stayed over a lot at his house. The beginning was just playful banter. Most kids at school despise Van, and due to social status, Hitomi must only make contact with him if necessary. They are very close outside of school. I hope you understand it now!!

Question #5- Submitted By: LadyLoud

? Wasn't Allen a band member so how can he come to visit? Is he there with them right now or is this years later?? ?

Real Answer: You guessed correct! Well, err, partly. In the first chapter, Allen didn't have much of a part, but he was mentioned in the story. THAT chapter was a flashback a few weeks before they met Dilandau. Like…3 weeks ago. Guess what, ALLEN MOVED! Thankfully, I'm glad. The story will get into Allen coming for a visit, and a "special someone" taking his place in the band! I typed in Flashback for that chapter, and I just now checked over the first chapter. It didn't show up! Sorry, and you're right for asking that question. Its just my stupid screwy comp!

Question #6- Submitted By: LadyLoud

? What building do they live in is it a dorm or block of flat houses, they lived next door to each other and are now closer?? ?

Real Answer: Some of the houses are flat, but some of them are two-stories. Van and Hitomi don't really live "next door" to each other, but right across the road. You I could look out of the front window of Hitomi's house and see Van's, and vice versa. That part really wasn't that confusing though, geez, are you just trying to make up more questions for me?!

I'm sorry for confusing both of you! I hope I answered your questions, and future questions. I feel like a bad author, with getting all of those questions. (cowers) I'm sorry! I know I suck at writing! I'm trying my best to clear everything up, and I hope you'll still read and review. Sooooo sorry Jossi and Lady! Hope you still like my humble story! ;;


	5. The SemiPerfect Salvation Le Crashe Cour...

Badges Of Honor

By: SeraphAnaesthesia

Chapter Four: The Semi-Perfect Salvation- Le Crashe Course

Authoress' Note: Here you go, ladies and gentlemen! This is not the end, but may I add, Part One in the Grand Finale of 'Badges of Honor.' I have worked really hard to create such a story for all of the loyal readers, and this is one of the chapters that I am most proud to present to all of you. I hope that you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Oh, and you better like this song and review and tell me what you think.

'God,' she thought, 'why is this happening to me? I always have such weird dreams.' Hitomi attempted to act like she couldn't hear the beautiful music and words floating around her as she dreamed, her brain playing tricks on her as she concentrated hard on the rhythm and the way her body was moving to the music. She closed her eyes as she swirled around a room she had never seen before, in a house she had never lived in, listening to a beat that rummaged and ransacked her soul. She shot up out of bed.

"I've got it!"

Shooting up from the warm and comfy atmosphere of her room, her **own **room, she threw off the PJs that she wore and rummaged through the white wicker dresser to quickly find something decent to wear to school. Tossing on a pair of worn blue jeans with rips and tears at the knees, she quickly grabbed a yellow T-shirt the words, "Social Butterfly" embroidered on them and brushed her hair. Hitomi grabbed two yellow shimmery bobby pins and pushed her hair back, running down the stairs.

The young girl grabbed her backpack and a lone poptart, and stopped when she remembered the worn green song notebook she had always kept in the one place where it could never be found. Under the kitchen sink. (xDDDDD) Grabbing it with swift speed, she ran to the bus stop and took a deep breath. Hitomi sat Indian style on the bench near the sign, waiting for Van and Dilandau to get there for her to talk to. While she was waiting, Hitomi grabbed a pen from her pocket and flipped open her notebook. She was determined that her dream had been a vision.

Gasping lightly when she realized that the entire first verse had already been written, she noticed a slight whistle and scuffle of converses coming down the street, two different tenor voices conversing slightly. Hitomi smiled to herself, and waved at them when they waved back. She capped her pen when they reached her and Dilandau curiously poked her notebook. "What's that?" Hitomi blinked up at him, hugging the notebook close to her chest and muttering a low concord of, "My song notebook…" To her surprise, Dilandau replied with great enthusiasm.

"Awesome! Are you in a band? I've been playing electric guitar for about seven years!" His crimson eyes were full of amusement as Van gave Hitomi a peculiar look, telling her to tell Dilly about the band, and about Allen leaving. She nodded at Dilandau's question, but stuck her tongue out at Van. He just grinned back at her.

"Yeah, I'm lead singer for a band at the school called Paranoia. Most of the kids in our school either refer to us as the awesome 'band geeks' or just the 'Noids. Short for Paranoids. We're pretty good but our lead elec. Guitarist just moved away…You wouldn't be interested in playing with us, wouldja?" Hitomi smiled expectantly as Dilandau nodded his head furiously. "Heck yeah!" The bus came to a screeching shot as the kids got on.

Throughout the day Hitomi continued to pencil in the lyrics that seemed to rush by inside her aching head, and grinned so wearily by the end of 5th period that all of her friends were worrying about her falling over from happiness. Her green eyes seemed to glaze over every time anyone mentioned notes or music or songs. Hitomi's head was spinning and drowning in the delightful melodies of freedom, or victory. Success. 'Twas finished! Before her, Hitomi held the greatest, most punk-rockish, most amazing song that she had ever decided to grace The 'Noids with. She was already full aware that her band mates would adore her for it and she could almost feel her skin soaking up the vintage glory.

Even though the young girl was definitely not known for her punctuality, she surprisingly made it to band practice precisely 15 minutes and 23 seconds earlier than usual. But, then again, she had been terribly excited to rave and rant about "Semi-Perfect Salvation." Hitomi was loving the blissful feeling of knowing her song was going to be a smash hit. Silently, she clapped her hands together and said, "Thank you. Thank you, God, for this wonderful piece of heavenly Hell!" Grinning, she gave a loud cackle as she entered the band room, not noticing the odd stares she was receiving from everyone. Blinking, she glared at her watch, noting that Dilandau would be there for a try-out in a few minutes.

As if right on que, the silver-haired adorable guy with crimson eyes almost fell over panting as he lugged the heavy elec. Guitar case behind him as he sighed. Hitomi laughed, and Millerna walked over. "And who might THIS be, Hitomi?" She wiggled her eyebrows as Dryden (OMFG, I am the biggest fan of Dryden! I don't know why, but I love the guy.. He's awesome. DryDry-chan!) hopped down from his perch at the drums. Celena acted disgusted and went back to filing her nails. Dilly blinked lightly at Millerna and Hitomi blushed.

"This is Dilandau, a new friend of mine. He's here for an audition to take Allen's place. 'Been playin' the electric guitar for seven years. Think we can give him a shot, you guys?" Hitomi raised her hands giggling slightly to her band members as they all voiced in a yes. Hitomi clambered up on the stage to the microphone and walked over to a small table backed up against the wall. Ruffling through a few sheets of paper, she growled before finding what she was looking for. "Wahla!" Walking over to Dilandau, she handed him a short guitar solo lick of music.

Dilandau nodded in understanding of the situation, taking out his electric blue guitar with silver flames around the edges. He plugged it into a spare amp, setting up the music on a sparse grey stand. Taking it off with a loud boom, large wails of beautiful D major scales and hooks and slurs and everything came pounding off of the walls. He hissed lightly, swaying his leaned body in tuned to the music he was playing. Finishing it off, Dilandau let out a loud laugh at the surprised faces of Celena, Millerna, and Dryden. Hitomi didn't look amazed, just impressed. And intensely smug.

So, her new-found lead electric guitarist was a success, a hit, a beautiful triumph. Score- Hitomi: 3,697 ½ Planet Earth: 0

Heh, okay…So maybe getting a big ego wasn't exactly the best plan to spend time on. Hitomi kept grinning though, even when her sworn enemy Yukari walked in. They had been best friends in grade school, but grew apart when Yukari started doing drugs and sleeping around. The mini skirt and flabby tube top didn't exactly suit her very well. Neither did the fact that she was walking be Van. _Hitomi's_ Van. But then again, the young raven-haired man didn't look too pleased about having the red-head clinging to him like a life line.

She growled anyway, and Hitomi began passing out the music for the lyrics she had written earlier. Hitomi silently thanked God for letting the copy machine stay open over fifth period. "You guys think you can give this a shot? What about you, Dilandau? Care to take a hand?"

Dilandau nodded furiously, already acquainted with everyone in the band as he took position by his amp. Dryden swirled into action by the drums, and Celena took her place at the keyboard. Millerna got in stance behind Hitomi, who was lushly hogging a microphone to herself. Hitomi had this obsession, addiction, that Millerna called MicrophoneSyndrome. She felt helplessly addicted to a stage, and a crowd, and an applause. Grinning, Hitomi had no doubt that the band would play her music perfectly, even the first time through. Starting up the music as she watched Van and Yukari sit in the front row, lyrics riveted off her lips.

"I was not following you home

You're delusional and all alone

Waiting for someone to pick up the phone

Even though you know that they won't."

Her emerald eyes held laughter in them when the entire band acted as if the wonderful sound coming out of their instruments wasn't being played by them, but by a professional. And nobody could miss that look of surprise on Van's eager face when he realized this song was going to be a bit different from all of the other crazy songs that Hitomi had spent time writing in that spiffy green notebook of hers.

"You're a tree-hugger, the type of guy

Who couldn't wipe his eyes and tell a lie

Hang your head and let out a loud sigh

Oh well, at least you tried, right?"

Hitomi let out a loud bark of laughter when Yukari wrinkled her nose in disgust as if asking, "What kind of crap are we listening to?" Hitomi knew they sounded awesome, and that Yukari was only jealous of her great school, life, friends, crush, home, and band. She knew that she wanted what Hitomi had. The Semi-Perfect Salvation. Hitomi continued the song, holding onto the melody like a lifeline. Convinced that it was only confidence and never ever arrogance, Hitomi took the task upon herself of smirking and strutting a pose, her form-fitting T-shirt contrasting with baggy jeans. And finally, the next verse came.

"Your wings have broken in two

I'm trying so hard to help you

C'mon now, don't forget the glue

Blue just doesn't look good on you."

Hitomi smirked, remembering a sudden flashback that she hardly even remembered. It only stopped her for a brief second.

- He pulled off his shirt to climb into the sleeping bag across from her, a slow smile on his face and a small sigh on his full lips. Hitomi cocked her head at him questioningly, running her hands along his back while a brief gasp escaped his lips. Van looked back at her while Hitomi traced the thin black and inky lines across his back. The curls at the end, and the feathers falling down.

"Van, why do you have wings on your back? Is there something you plan on flying away from?" Hitomi smiled willingly to offer support to his usually quiet answers.

"Maybe."- That was it! Hitomi suddenly understood it all. That was what she had dreamed of! The beautiful music was her own voice, and feathers were around her everywhere. The room was the one from the flashback… Hitomi smiled, continuing the lyrics as she finally understood her own purpose for living. This was it. The chorus.

"You cannot be in love with someone's shadow

You hide behind the wings of an angel

Cover up your face and pretend to not exist

Your web of conspiracy becomes tangled

I love you for not just who you are

But for what I honestly know you can be

You're crying more tears just to fill the jar

I fear this time you may have gone too far

We are only a Semi-Perfect Salvation

The blood, sweats and tears of our foundation

We need you to undo this translation

These wings are your new transformation (creation)

The Semi-Perfect Badges of Honor (only semi-perfect)

I am proud of your true colors (steadfast colors)."

"Yes, these wings are your Badges of Honor…"

A/N: READ AND REVIEW! And I'll love you forever.


	6. Way Away Yellowcard

Badges Of Honor

By: SeraphAnaesthesia

Chapter Five: Way Away- Yellowcard

A/N: I'm FINALLY updating this story! I am such a slow loser, and I'm sorry everyone! I'm also sorry that this story is going to end soon. There are three parts in the Grand Finale of BoH, and this is the second installment. The next one will be it's last, the performance at the center. Hitomi's band is going places, and this is so sad to finally get this over with. I'm going to miss the feel of this story. I will also be sad that I have a possibility of disappointing my readers. I'm trying my best, I promise! Read and review!

_We are only a Semi-Perfect Salvation_

_The blood, sweat and tears of our foundation_

_We need you to undo this translation_

_These wings are your new transformation (creation)_

_The Semi-Perfect Badges of Honor (only semi-perfect)_

_I am proud of your true colors (steadfast colors)."_

"_Yes, these wings are your Badges of Honor…"_

"He's here, he's here!" Millerna's cries echoed throughout Hitomi Kanzaki's house as she squealed, racing around to the kitchen from her perch on the window. Everyone had agreed to come, even Van. Dilandau came too, even though he had not met the "victim" of the party. "Get to your places!" Millerna screamed as she flipped the light off and ducked behind the couch. Moments later, a knock came at the door, the knob creaking slightly. A smooth voice called out, "Hello?" as the young man moved into the kitchen/living room. "SURPRISE!" The scream echoed throughout the house as everyone as immediately at Allen's side, even Van, who stayed near Hitomi. The blonde was laughing merrily as he was bombarded with questions about his new life, and if he was single, and how he was doing.

Hitomi attempted to calm down the crowd by raising her voice a little. She strolled up to Allen, a coy grin on her face. Then she smacked him, harder than she punched Dilandau. It left a red mark on his pretty white cheek, and for a brief moment, everyone was silent. Allen looked so surprised, Hitomi could barely contain her laughter. "That's what you get for moving away!" Dilandau whispered to Van, "Violent, isn't she?" Hitomi threw her arms around his neck, hugging her friend. The sound of silence was broken by cheers, and Millerna walked in with a huge chocolate cake, shouting, "Welcome back, Allen! We're so glad you're visiting. Cake anyone?" Everyone broke out with screams out, "OhoOhOh!'s" and "ME!'s" Van almost stabbed Dilandau with his fork for trying to steal a chunk of chocolate icing.

Allen had come over to sit with Hitomi and Van, a light smile on his face. They all sat on the classy black leather couch, just chatting away. "So, Hitomi, I heard there's a show coming up at the center. Is Paranoia going to preform?" Hitomi grinned at the former electric guitarist. "Hell yeah, we are! Dilandau is a great new elec. Guitarist, no offence or anything. I've already got the music picked out and everything. It's one we've been practicing for a while, it's kinda dark though. I was in a bad mood when I wrote it…" Hitomi looked like she had been avoiding the topic, like a secret for only her and her band mates to know about the song. But Allen trudged on. "Ah, but if it's dark, that'll make it all the more stunning. What's the song called?" Hitomi then turned around suddenly, a murderous but sly smile on her face.

"Blood and Bones."

Allen's jaw dropped at Hitomi's odd behaviour. Van grinned, nudging Hitomi with his elbow. They both smiled at each other, as if sharing some hidden inside joke. Allen coughed lightly, and their attention was brought back to him. He turned to Van, a polite smile on his girlish features. "So, Van, how have you been doing? Hitomi talks about you a lot over the phone." Hitomi blushed a hot pinkish color when Van eyed her wearily. "Oh she does, does she?" Allen nodded at Van's grin widened even more. "Oh, I've been fine, really. After all, I have my _dear Hitomi _to thank for that." Sarcasm dripped off his words. Allen's expression grew worried in a short amount of time though.

"Are you two still acting while you're at school? You guys know what Yukari would do if she knew you two were going out." Allen's expression was grim. He answered his own question. "She would ruin you. And she'd kill the popularity of Paranoia. But I know how hard it is for you guys…" Hitomi and Van both nodded, but Van was the first to speak. "Yukari can kiss my ass. That stupid girl can't do a thing to us, and it gets so tiring, y'know? Pretending you don't know someone that you love, and…It just plain sucks." Hitomi's mind wandered as he said "love." _'Does Van…Does Van really love ME?'_

Closing her shallow thought out of her mind, she replied with little emotion, only pure homicidal hatred for Yukari and her band of skanks. "He's right. I'm sick of this charade…Yukari can go to Hell. It doesn't matter anymore, the school year is almost out. Everyone will be at the community center anyway, everyone from school, that is. They'll see us, and they will find out. Chances are, they won't even care. But that bitch Yukari will…" Hitomi's voice trailed off as her face grew into a slight snarl. She cracked her knuckles, unconscious of her actions until Allen put a hand on her shoulder. "Ehehehe, Hitomi, you can stop looking lethal now…Hitomi? Hitomi! Wake up!" Allen snapped his fingers in front of her face. Hitomi snapped out of her trance and…

…Almost bit off one of Allen's fingers.

Van laughed so hard that he started choking on his soda. Hitomi hit him hard to stop his coughing fit. Van just kept coughing, his asthma acting up. (Poor Van…) He hacked away, before almost falling down. Hitomi ran upstairs, ready to go grab a spare inhaler from her backpack. In the midst of his coughing, Van hit his head on the coffee table. Hitomi could hear gaps and shouts for her from downstairs, and ran as quickly as possible. When she got downstairs, she inhaled sharply at what she saw. Van was lying on the couch, he had been _knocked out _from his fall.

When he came to, the ebony-haired male groggily opened his ruddy brown-red eyes. Holding his head as he groaned in pain, he sighed lightly. Sitting up, her realized that everyone who had been at the party was now gone. Only a few remained, such as Hitomi, Allen, Millerna, and Dilandau. Van's voice hitched in his throat as he saw Dilandau. Memories flooded back to him. Memories of glass shattering, blood spewing, and waking up in a hospital. But first, came the memories of two boys.

Flashback

'_A silver-haired boy dump the bucket of sand onto the ground. Smiling, he sat down next to his best friend, and happy smile on his face. With a laugh, the black-haired boy joined his friend in building a sand castle._

_Hours passed by, and still the two young boys stayed together, working harder and harder at their makeshift castle built of sand. Finally, in a flurry of hands patting the ground around the base of the sand castle, it was finished. The two creators high-fived each other and grinned at their new found castle._

_The castle they had created **together.**'_

Van's eyes widened and he clutched his head in pain, his brain processing memories of a self that he didn't remember, from twelve years of a life he didn't remember. 'The crash…' and it all came to him. He remembered the way Folken had been driving that night, and the way his car swerved with every turn. He remember the way the semi had just magically appeared in front of them as his older brother ran a stoplight. Then he remembered the doctors standing over him, bright lights overhead. They had been talking with muffled voices. What had happened? The he remembered. He remembered his head going through the windshield. And he remembered Dilandau.

When his head stopped swivelling, Van regained some sort of balance and his vision stopped blurring. A mass of blue and pale skin was over him, a tall shadow folding over him. Van almost screamed. "What are YOU doing here!" The pale eyes of Folken looked down at him as the Gothic figure pulled his stethoscope away from Van's chest. He hadn't even known it was there! "He seems all right now." His gruff voice pounded in Van's ears as he growled out an incoherent mumble. "What. Are. You. Doing. Here!" Folken simply smirked. "Can't a family member come check up on his little brother?" Van rolled his eyes. "What do you think?"

Folken just stared on with a deadpan expression. "Well, y'know, actually…I AM a doctor." Van's expression was quizzical, he seemed to have forgotten the seriousness of the moment. He blinked. "You went to college? That IS amazing." Everyone is the background sweat dropped. Dilandau sat in a lounge chair in the corner, having fallen asleep after Folken had arrived. Millerna and Allen were downstairs getting some ice packs and medicine for Van's head. Dilandau then took up his post as being the ever-awake guard again, slightly rubbing his eyes. Van noticed the silver-haired figure stirring slightly, and looked up at the occupants of the room. "Can I speak to Dilandau alone for a few minutes?" Hitomi nodded with a worried expression. Folken nodded wearily as the two left the room.

"_You. _Why am I seeing memories of you? I just met you a few weeks ago." Van growled, cutting straight to the point. Dilandau just looked tired. His face kind of lost it's hope, looking far older than he was. He rubbed his eyes wearily. "You were having memories of me, Van, before the crash." Van's expression just grew lighter as he still looked slightly confused. That would explain the pictures of doctors and his head accident. "Crash? The one where…" Dilandau nodded. Van's eyes widened as he stared at the ground, looking shocked. It was as if a huge ice cold bucket of realization had been splattered on him. He took a spluttering breath as if trying to stop from drowning. "So…you were my…you are my…best friend?" Van blinked.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I am." Dilandau grinned. "So, Van, tell me one more thing. Do you still have those wings on your back?" Van gaped once more. "How do you know about those? Did you tattoo them on there?" Dilandau's grin widened.

"No, silly. You were _born_ with those."

A/N: Bwahahahahahahahahahahhahaha. Kind of short, but you still love me. Right? RIGHT! You can also show your love by (whisper) reviewing… (whisper) But, then again, it's just a thought. (whistles)

Oh yeah, there's still one more little review that I need to say something about. Hopelessly Escaflowne-person, you PISS ME OFF. I should be thanking you for reviewing to almost all of my stories, but that still doesn't cover the fact that you ruined the plot for everyone. My life would be a whole lot better without you trying to **second-guess **my story. It's like you're TRYING to remind me of how much work I have to do. Thanks a bunch and everything, and I may be overreacting, but you just ruined the plot. Not only is it the closest thing I have ever gotten to a flame, it's just rude. I don't go second-guess others' stories. Try not to second-guess mine.

(Sorry to all of my AWESOME reviewers, whom I love deeply, that you had to hear me whine. I hope you don't think that I'm a crazy bitch now, and that I'm just mean. I'm not, I just don't want all the action given away! Don't hate me, Hopelessly Escaflowne, I just need anger management…)


	7. This Sucks

Hey everybody. Bad news. I will not be updating until probably around September. This is not for my pleasure, I assure you. My laptop has been infected, then reinstalled, and now it is dead. Completely dead, every single one of my files and documents deleted. What I am writing to you now is on my mother's computer, which will only be used so often until I figure out how to work her programs. School just started, and my computer is gone, so I'm left with this crappy one. I am SO sorry, to all of my awesome reviewers, and even those people who don't review. Look for updates in September! I love you all, and my sincerest apologies.


	8. One More For Old Times

I am so sorry.

THIS IS NOT ANOTHER EXCUSE.

This is terminal.

I saved most of the items on a disc when my laptop died. In order to continue writing, I needed my documents. I loaded the disc onto my mom's computer. Obviously, one of my programs held a virus, and it is now eating up my mom's database. It's like her computer has been diagnosed.

And with all of this going on, I will not be able to write anymore.

What I am writing now is on a friend's computer. I am so sorry.

Thank you to all of the reviewers that helped me throughout my time here at I wish I could continue all of my stories, write more and more and more until each one is finished, and then start new ones. But that's not possible right now.

Thank you SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING! For the compliments and encouragements; plushies and cookies. I love you ALL.

And I'm so, so sorry.

Maybe someday I can get both comps fixed, my documents 'purified', and I can continue as SeraphAnaesthesia.

Until then, I bid you adieu. Wait for me!


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